Wednesday, January 30, 2013

During chemo...

I have been wondering whether to post these photo's of what it is really like for her to get chemo... We have all of these posts of us being strong and looking happy but really that's only part of the roller coaster ride.

When I came home tonight and saw JaNae on the couch looking green with her "chemo look."  I decided to post them. I needed to share. The photos are candid.  I took them while acting like I was looking something up on my phone.  I did ask her if i could post them and she agreed (though a little loopy at the time.)  I just hope that as you share our journey with us that you know how thankful we are for all of the love and support. We do see the light at the end of the tunnel.

As I type this, she is here in  bed next to me breathing so softly... I can tell by her breathing that she is asleep but it is a light sleep and she is restless. The chemo makes her cold so she is wearing a jacket in bed and has an electric heater pointed at her.  In a day or two she'll be having hot flashes and throwing off the covers.  It really is a roller coaster ride.  I don't know how else to describe it.

The nurse had just pushed some of the medicine that gives her a bad taste and smell that makes her  feel so sick.

This is a close up... and yes those are tears.  It breaks my heart to see her suffer .

This is the miserable chemo face she gets.

Once the medication hits, she gets very sleepy and takes a little nap.
 There was a robin that was outside the window that kept hopping down and looking in at us. 

PS.  Just to update on her health, her white blood cell count was low and her ANC (Absolute Neutrophil Count) was 1.44.  Which means she is at increased risk of getting any type if infection so she has to be careful.   The doctors will consider giving her a dose of a GSF to increase her blood cell count if it continues to be low.


  1. How proud I am of her! I am sooooo proud of her. and of you too Jeff. I must be agonizing to sit there and not be able to do anything but comfort her. I know it means so much to have you by her side. I wish I could take it away for her. I wish I could make it all go away and magically she'd be better. I just hope she knows how much she's loved and has prayers said in her behalf daily. I love you all so much!

  2. I am so glad to see new posts! I read it faithfully. I am praying for you both! Thanks for sharing the ups and downs. I love your humor and positive outlook on life in a tough situation. And the chemo face broke my hear too. Glad you will be done soon!

  3. Sweet JaNae,

    I am so sorry. What a crappy ride. I can't appreciate what this process is like for you but I am thankful you give me a glimpse so that I can try. Bless your heart. Please hang in there.

  4. So so hard. Tears are ok and the roller coaster will hopefully level out soon. Thinking so much about you guys as you near the finish line!

  5. Those precious pictures show so much vulnerability. I see "little girl JaNae" in those- minus the underwear on your head. You are amazing! Even though I haven't reached out much, I hope you know how much I've thought of you and your family and kept you in my prayers! Love you and so glad you're so close to the end!

  6. Those pictures just broke my heart! You are doing amazing considering what you've been given, such a great example:) Always here if you need me:)