Friday, September 7, 2012


School is now in session and we have completed the 2nd week.  I am still in awe of how fast time is flying although some moments seem to drag.  (Especially when I think of treatments and what I have to look forward to over the next few months.  Bleh...)  I went to the store this week and saw the Halloween Stuff ready for purchasing.  I had a sickening rush of emotions.  I want to picket and protest Summer being over.  I am trying not to feel robbed as it seems like I spent the summer in bed, on the couch and in "my office."   Although how can this time of year not be savored.  The cooler mornings and evenings followed by 70 and 80 degree weather is perfect!  And I can't not mention the blissfulness of the children being in school.  When I dropped them off the first day, I came home and cried.  I am not old enough to have them all in school!  Although when I send them off in the morning, I feel like I need to start in really drinking.....because the craziness of orchestrating showers, room pick up, breakfast, scripture study, piano and violin for four monkeys, will drive anyone mad!  And the three hours of peace and quiet just barely covers the recovery time it takes to be a nice Mom when they arrive on the doorstep after school. 

Walker--13 who looks real enthused, Whitney-10, Wyatt-8 and Wes-5

Wes is our Kindergartener this year and he is in heaven!  How can I not be so happy for him?  He is so pleased to spend time with friends and we love, love, love his teacher.   He is always dressed and ready to go out the door at the crack of dawn with a smile on his face. 

Wyatt who is hot and cold with school also has an amazing teacher!  We can't believe he is in 3rd grade.  He brought home some cursive homework and my heart skipped a beat.  I know that he will be mastering his multiplication tables shortly too.  Crazy!  I have asked him if he likes his teacher and being 8years old....he responded..." it is better than heck!"  ( We are hoping that it really means amazing....because heck may not be so great!)

Whitney is maturing and blossoming before our eyes.  She too loves her teacher for 5th grade.  I had heard great things about the other two 5th grade teachers and she was placed in a class without any of her close friends and with the teacher that I was unfamiliar with.  She is a teacher pleaser and a great student and we have no doubt that she will be happy and make more great friends.  

Walker is and 8th grader this year.  He has made some great friends and loves being at the top of the pecking order as the oldest  in school.  We love the school that our kids attend and are so pleased that Walker has made the good friends that he enjoys.  It has been interesting (and sad) to watch him go from a boy to a young man who is no longer content with kid stuff and spending time at home with family.  Family is first, but he is having a blast with the gaggle of boys he hangs with.  He is growing like a weed, his voice is changing and has armpit hair that we threaten to shave!  That threat will almost get him to do anything that I request.  I love the leverage!  (Insert evil laugh here!!!!)

As for me this week, I am coming off of a high that was present when we seriously laughed ourselves silly with some great old friends visiting for the weekend.  We were neighbors when we were in school and our oldest children were babies.  It was so, so fun to be together, but it has left a longing for them and other close friends that we wish we could always live by and be together.  This world is so small, but yet way too big to be able to be close in distance and emotion to everyone that we love!   Dang it!  We really have been surrounded by amazing people and friends.....their association (and jokes)  really make life living.  

The perks for our family were endless....dinner, treats, wet pants from laughing, and swimming at the Rich's hotel pool! Good, Good Times!
These beauties worked for hours weaving this frog trap....pretty ingenious if you ask me!  They were taking a break from the numerous song and dance routines that we were pleased to be entertained with! 

The 5 year olds, Wes and Mallory!   Hopefully we can arrange a marriage in about 16 years! 

Cute, Cute Boys who got along like a dream!  Wyatt and Owen

The Rich's brought me THIS box that my children are dying over.  I am torturing them by not letting them dive into it.  I am saving it for the next treatment when I really do feel like CRAP.  I cannot however count how many times they have approached me saying...."Mom, You really look like you feel like crap.  How about we open up that box?"  Thanks, but not now.  

Lastly, for a record of how I am really feeling....The last treatment, #4, was truly the easiest one so far.  I was so thankful, but a little grumpy about discovering that one of the prescriptions that I was given and instructed to take, was the cause of alot of the nausea that I have been feeling.  I was planning on cutting it in half and just experimenting on how it made me feel....but I ended up not taking any of it, and did so much better, especially on the Wednesday and Thursday after treatment.  I am trying to gear up for the next treatment on Monday, but have lingering waves of nausea.  I am trying to decide if it really is nausea....or mental nausea, as the thought of lots of things make we want to run for a barf bag.   (Please don't sick the psychiatrist on me!)
The neuropathy in my hands and feet unfortunately has been worse this session.  I have been more bothered by anything sharp or textured.  When I do any walking that is not a lazy stroll, my feet tingle and sting.  I cannot drink or touch anything cold for the first 3 or 4 days after treatment, and then the sensitivity fades and I am able to tolerate a little.  This morning I was cracking eggs out of the fridge for breakfast, and the cold yolks stung and hurt my fingers.  Frustrating! 
My ugly port, that yes, Valyn, looks like an alien ready to pop out of my chest, is healing and no longer sore, but bugs and annoys me.  My skin is still sporting a hideous green bruise around the port, and the scar is still really noticeable. I think it may be time to break down and buy a gallon of Mederma for all of the scars that cover my body. 
My hair is still hanging in there, in contrast to what my Oncologist mentioned to me the first time we visited.  The fear of it falling out has caused a lot of uneasiness, but I am pleasantly surprised that it is still here.  It is thinning quite a bit, and I am constantly feeling like I am an ape that is being picked by family members. The back of my shirt is always quite the patch of nasty strays....My crew is always trying to keep it clean and hairless especially in public.  Embarrassing!   
One source of pleasantness is the weight that has fallen off this tired body, with only half a colon. The nurses that help with the infusions have mentioned a few times the Dr's wishes of  patients keeping their weight steady during treatment.  My mischevious reply was Watch Me!   If there is any benefit of stupid Cancer is smaller jeans!  Although after my 3rd infusion, when I had a week off because of my liver numbers being off....I gained a few pounds because I ate like my teenage food was going out of style, because I wasn't nauseous and everything tasted like it used to!    So here's to a little self control, nausea induced weight loss and small pants! 



  1. JaNae, I'm having issues with having four in school, too. :) Poor Seth doesn't know what to do on Wednesday and Friday when Erica is in Kindergarten. You have such an amazing positive attitude. You are an inspiration in how you try to look for the positive. You are truly an awesome woman!!!

  2. Loved to see the pics! Good luck with round 6! I keep thinking of you guys and finding funny things to send you. I try to hold back, but another box will probably be on it's way soon. did Whitney ever catch a frog in the chic trap they weaved? I mean, what frog wouldn't want in something so luxurious? Be inspired by your hair, and hang in there for round 6!
    Love ya!