tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19466652308422291392024-03-14T02:50:23.689-06:00A Cancer TaleJ.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.comBlogger75125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-27873497231932456012015-02-01T18:34:00.000-07:002015-02-01T18:34:09.895-07:00Time has been flying by.The past year has gone by so fast! We can hardly believe that it's 2015!<br />
I just dropped by and when I noticed how long it has been, I decided to make a quick post just so you all know we are alive and kicking. The kids are growing up and we are busy all the time. We take things a day at a time and love it.<br />
-Jeff<br />
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<br />J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-17839898828142439022013-06-29T22:52:00.000-06:002013-06-29T22:56:22.060-06:00A little western...I took the kids to my parents and JaNae stayed home to rest. She still doesn't feel up to traveling far. The doctors said it would be quite some time before she felt a lot better... and they were right. She seems to be feeling a little better every week but is still wiped out with little energy. Despite that, we have had a fun summer so far and have tried to enjoy every day. Here are a few photos from my recent trip with the kids<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKfb7Fjexef-0dZ3zVtLShkIpjQyc16kDXeV4GH7voDK6nCltyJQnnnn7tF-uwyEJWy3e0UCMiBy47OL8phlR6fawr3gql1uQvwU_wE6bEr2qGO5dXMB3mnPFjWxUto5u1hdkONuTDyN2V/s1600/IMG_3922.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKfb7Fjexef-0dZ3zVtLShkIpjQyc16kDXeV4GH7voDK6nCltyJQnnnn7tF-uwyEJWy3e0UCMiBy47OL8phlR6fawr3gql1uQvwU_wE6bEr2qGO5dXMB3mnPFjWxUto5u1hdkONuTDyN2V/s400/IMG_3922.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Whit loves the horses.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My nephew splashed this cutthroat out of that little creek behind us and I grabbed it. He's a little stud.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Walker was a trooper leading his brother around.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wes... showing off his pocket knife to his uncle. (no stitches yet)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Walker holding a calf, getting ready for the branding iron</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBZ08-W_sVQNoTsXs856PAhd4GxXn3uYXQ1koH_l5YkT8h9gwBM5or5-6vT59GlOKg6MT6z9hDiwHBJeKAURJhGX9iotEA_Ca7__58vK2-KiExSLqDf2dUtMFHb3noipHOfvlD1mT8cmE_/s1600/20130624_195150.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBZ08-W_sVQNoTsXs856PAhd4GxXn3uYXQ1koH_l5YkT8h9gwBM5or5-6vT59GlOKg6MT6z9hDiwHBJeKAURJhGX9iotEA_Ca7__58vK2-KiExSLqDf2dUtMFHb3noipHOfvlD1mT8cmE_/s400/20130624_195150.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pigs are cute when they are small...</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not so cute when grown...</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cowboy Jeff</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Branding...</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wyatt has skills.</td></tr>
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<br />J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-82126246301541507902013-05-26T21:18:00.000-06:002013-05-26T22:08:03.314-06:00A Tale of Two CancersThe past year has flown by and is still a blur. 5/24 was the 1 year date for JaNae's surgery. This year on 5/24, her father, Gary, was diagnosed with cancer in his pancreatic duct. He was in the same hospital in a room nearby where her's was.<br />
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He was not feeling well over the past week or two and suddenly became jaundiced. He was hospitalized and had some tests which showed biliary obstruction and during a procedure to relieve it, a biposy was taken which showed the cancer. He had a CT and MRI which did not show any spread of the cancer. He will be preparing for surgery in a few weeks and have a Whipple procedure which is a major surgery. He has been told that he will likely need chemo and maybe radiation. We are now starting another cancer journey with someone we love and admire very much. About 10 months ago, when JaNae was just starting chemo, her Dad had some symptoms that were concerning but at that time, no cancer was found. We were so relieved then that he seemed to be OK, now the diagnosis has been made, our hearts are very heavy.</div>
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He asked me to post this to let friends and family know. We have been trying to get our lives back to normal as much as we can... but the diagnosis of cancer in anyone you love changes your life forever. </div>
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We will be starting a blog for his cancer journey to keep loved ones up to date on his progress. Here is the link to his blog <a href="http://gwcancerupdates.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Kicking Cancer in the Pancreas</a>. Just for the record, I wanted to call it "Cancer is a pain in the PancreASS" but was vetoed.<br />
-Jeff</div>
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J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-37516434075613574442013-05-20T16:26:00.001-06:002013-05-20T16:26:09.409-06:00Spring...I know we haven't been posting much on here... There has not been a lot to report. I totally wish I could say that JaNae feels totally awesome and is full of energy but I just watched a good TED talk and decided to not lie. She still feels like crap. It's been hard on all of us. But she is getting a tiny bit better every day. In the past month she has had a CT scan and a colonoscopy and is doing well over all. As far as we know, she is cancer free and we just have to watch, wait and monitor closely for any recurrence. We appreciate the concern and support from all of you.<br />
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In the meantime spring has sprung. We had a duck nest along the creek right behind out house and wondered if it was from one of our ducks. They all hatched and swam away. It made me think about getting some more ducklings to raise again but... that thought was vetoed. <br />
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I did get a chance to take the kids fishing at a friend's pond and they had a great time catching fish. Wyatt and Wes each caught quite a few... Walker didn't have luck fishing but enjoyed his time canoeing around while removing hooks from the fish caught by 2 young women. He seemed to really enjoy that. <br />
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<br />J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-39530360195859329012013-04-24T22:34:00.000-06:002013-04-24T22:34:09.407-06:00As of Late<div style="text-align: center;">
I have started this post about 4 times.....each time ends with me holding down the delete button and going crazy. I haven't known what to write down. I haven't wanted to write anything down either. The last month has been a whirlwind of emotions. Emotions that I did not even imagine to expect. After my last Chemotherapy infusion I was teary for about a week. I was on a high from being finished. I cried about finally being done, and I cried thinking about all that this last year has brought. It has been good....and incredibly hard...on me and my little family. Then after that week was over I felt an enormous let down. Like jumping off a bridge let down. For the last year, every week has been dictated by appointments, more appointments and feeling like garbage. I would plan one or two weeks ahead of time.....check those things off of my list and then look forward (just a little bit) to my next planned treatment. Then...all of a sudden, my calender was clear and I didn't need to see any Oncologist, Rad. Oncologist, Surgeon, Psychiatrist, Oncology Nurse, Social Worker or Gastroenterologist for like a whole month! Yipee-Ky-Yeah you might be saying! And that is exactly what I said for the first little while. But to my dismay, almost a year of high stress took its toll on my body and mind. My coping mechanism of choice has been humor (and denial mixed with a little sewing and chocolate)...and they just don't seem appropriate anymore. The thoughts "I can't believe what I have been through" and " I have to live the rest of my life like this?" have been consuming and sorrowful. </div>
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I was thinking that I would take a few weeks to heal, get my brain back and have my body in decent shape to do what I needed to do to be a wife and mother. Well now I am 6 weeks out and still feel like I have quite the waiting game in front of me. I have half of a brain, am still really tired and do not have a lot of stamina. See picture below: Taken by Johnson child #4, then followed by 100 more pictures of weird things around the house and yard. (And I am totally not kidding about that number!) What happens at the Johnson House (while I am sleeping)...stays at the Johnson House.....cause I pretty much am incredibly oblivious!</div>
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I have a lot of neuropathy in my hands and feet and on the outsides of my upper legs(thunder thighs). In fact, the neuropathy that I experienced during treatment was a cake walk. I am continually guarded, just in case someone (one of my kids) might touch my legs. My arms and hands feel sore and are constantly tingly will fall dead asleep without warning. I have been put on more medication, hoping that it will lessen my pain. This weekend we did some oh-so-needed yard work that just about put me in the grave. I was more sore and miserable. My left over pain meds were my only saving grace. </div>
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In the last two weeks, I again have become sick and tired of Drs. and the hospital. I have seen an OB-GYN for some help with some hormone replacement therapy, because all of the radiation and chemotherapy have put me into menopause. I have morphed into a total beast and have become the hotflash/nightsweat queen. Everyone that resides at our address is praying that I will level out, and am happy to report that the last few days I have seen some improvement. I was obedient and had a mammogram, and CT scan. We are waiting to hear results from my Dr.'s, although we are feeling positive that everything will be O.K. We also passed the bittersweet year mark of my diagnosis, without a lot of fanfare. Jeff worked late and I spent the night at the Pinewood Derby. Next week I will have the dreaded Colonoscopy followed by more Dr. appointments. This cancer circus is continuing to keep us on our toes even though I am technically finished with treatment. </div>
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But as for now....I am resting, and resting.....and doing laundry, meals, dishes, eating chocolate, not getting on the scale, trying to keep up with my children, (and trying to not let them drive me crazy) and feeling good about not being nauseous. One thing that I am totally missing is hanging out with this lady! </div>
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During my Chemotherapy treatments (all 12 of them) my angel Mother sacrificed everything that was on her plate and traveled to Boise to help juggle our schedule. She was a maid, cook, nanny, chauffeur, sewing/project partner, party planner, and shoulder to cry on. I don't know if I would have made it without her, and am so blessed to call her mine. (How about you come back when I am feeling good!!???)</div>
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J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-20110311684467417332013-03-13T22:35:00.000-06:002013-03-13T22:36:13.774-06:00Last chemoMonday was her last chemo and we are so glad it's over. Today she got disconnected from the pump and is be free from it. She will have the port in her chest for who knows how long... but at least no chemo is going into it. She has been sick and slept most of the day today. I am so excited for JaNae to start feeling better. She is excited to feel better too but right now she can't keep her eyelids open.<br />
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We went in on Monday morning and I got us each a Chic-Fil-A chicken biscuit. If you have never had one, I exhort you to give it a try. They are most excellent. She saw her oncologist and started the chemo. After I tucked her in, I had to go to work for a little while. When I went outside, it was sprinkling and the smell of rain was wonderful. The smell of rain is one of my favorite things and I took it as a good sign. I will tell you that rain smells better in South East Arizona than it does in Idaho but it's pretty awesome in Idaho too. When you were raised in the desert like I was, the smell of rain takes a special place in your heart and is a symbol of hope and life. Many of you will not understand this... but that smell is very powerful for me.<br />
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After I got back to the cancer center, I had to use the restroom and my mind was racing thinking of all of the things I had to do... but I made a pit stop at the restroom and was standing at the urinal when the door opened and I turned to see a woman walk into the bathroom... My mind must have been really off because my first thought was "Crap, I'm in the ladies room..." and I was about to apologize when I realized I was standing at a urinal! The woman rushed out without saying anything and I was very relieved that it was not me that went into the wrong bathroom. I feel like I walk around on autopilot sometimes.<br />
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Here are a few photos to share. I'm hoping JaNae will feel well enough to post soon... hint hint<br />
-Jeff<br />
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<br />J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-22303280651539148382013-02-26T10:06:00.000-07:002013-02-26T13:49:18.175-07:00# Eleven<div style="text-align: center;">
The 11th chemotherapy infusion has come and gone. I can't believe it but I welcome it. This past year has come and gone so fast, but yet has been the slowest and most miserable year to date. Crazy! I cannot believe that I only have ONE MORE left. It makes me so happy!!!! But so emotional, thinking about how long this journey has been for me and my family. As I was sitting ready for the hook up I felt so thankful and appreciative to friends, family and caregivers that truly have made this whole experience livable. I really am going to especially miss my Chemo Nurses. They are angels who feel like family! </div>
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The infusion went well...I slept like a rock and upon waking I forgot where I was....multiple times. The nausea and "calm yourself...we are only giving you poison" drugs have really made me feel intoxicated. Jeff was afraid I would fall on the way out to the car...it was that good. </div>
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We came home a few minutes before the children arrived home from school and enjoyed their company (debatable) and then my angel Aunt and Uncle who live in town brought me my very favorite meal!</div>
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Chicken Pot Pie. </div>
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It was delish and we love and appreciate ALL that they have done to support and love us. </div>
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We Love Them and are so lucky that they live close.<br />
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The rest of the evening I spent gorked on the couch with no recollection of anything that transpired. I just remembered when the house became quiet. (Not a bad way to spend the evening if I do say so myself.) :)</div>
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And here is to the rest of the week. My mom is coming this afternoon and in the time being, I am catching up on laundry and ironing. So. Much. Fun. </div>
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The highlight of our weekend was creating this masterpiece Sunday afternoon. There may or may not have been (but probably was) mutiny on-board during the creation....but we made it through. Walker did a great job putting it all together. However there may be a few parts where you might think that it is an old Japanese Film where the words don't line up with the sound from the mouths. It is a treasure! </div>
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Love to you All!</div>
J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-78581731142985156572013-02-23T22:37:00.002-07:002013-02-23T22:53:32.127-07:00The saddest thing I ever did see...<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><em style="color: black; font-style: normal; line-height: 16px;">The saddest thing I ever did see</em></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large; line-height: 16px;">Was a woodpecker peckin' at a plastic tree. </span></h2>
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<span style="line-height: 16px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">"Things ain't as swee</span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">t as they used to be!"</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-weight: normal; line-height: 16px;">-</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Shel Silverstein</span></h2>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">I have taken a lot of flack after killing my third bonsai tree. I guess I just have not been able to give them the care they need. My kids have teased me. My daughter made me a bet that it would die and she won. The kids love to remind me of how many I have killed, but he final insult came this past week when JaNae gave me a plastic tree for my office. I have sunk to a new low... and plastic does not provide the </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">feng shui and zen that a real tree can provide. Maybe once all of this cancer stuff is behind us I'll try again, but for now my office contains a dead bonsai... and a plastic one. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Hope you are all well and happy.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This one... not so healthy...</td></tr>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">-Jeff</span></span></div>
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J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-75604675375654450792013-02-17T20:34:00.001-07:002013-02-17T20:34:16.301-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">
Curious to know a favorite chant I learned from my Mother that I share with my children when they are whining and inflicting me with their lack of pain tolerance? </div>
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"Oh my Finger, Oh my Thumb, Oh my Belly, Oh my Bum." </div>
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Well, what goes around comes around...and I can honestly say with my lack of pain tolerance and empathy that my whole body aches. Even though I felt relatively well after my infusion, the last few days, I have been a miserable mess. My 36 year old body has jumped into a 90 year old's. I think it is all due to that stupid white blood cell stimulator, <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">Neulasta! I have had a hard time sleeping at night and resting during the day. My brain won't shut off. I have hot flashes like they are going out of style. In addition to my body aches..my head and jaw aches and my mouth is sore. Not to mention my pitiful bowels. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;"> (Tired of my belly aching yet?)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">It is crazy what all of these cancer fighting drugs are doing to this body. I have been emotional thinking that I have to endure this 2 more times....and then get emotional that I am this far...and thankful that I only have another month to feel like garbage. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">(Stepping down from my Negative Nancy Soap Box) </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">I
can't believe that Valentines has come and gone. I did not take a
single picture, which makes me sad! The children enjoyed their day at
school and ate their weight in chocolate. (And so did I...Carmel and Chocolate really cover up the Oxalyplatin taste in my mouth!)</span></span> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">This week, my parents came for my infusion and then my dad left my mom here for the week! We thoroughly enjoyed each others company. We did a little shopping..(I love you Tai Pan and Dillards shoe department. ) And some fun projects for Christmas of 2013. I treasure the time that we have been able to spend together. I feel so close to her and I am truly blessed to have her as my Mother! When my Dad came back to pick her up, he and Jeff got their gun fixes spending 3/4 of their day browsing gun stores and shows. I am happy that they have so much in common. Luckily they just looked and did not purchase....I spent a wad on some new shoes. (I won't mention how many new pairs are now adorning my closet.)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">We were also spoiled once again by our ward with yummy meals and we had 2 Young Men bring me the Sacrament this afternoon, as I stayed home from church. Once again, we feel so blessed with the support that surrounds us! We have amazing friends! Today we have just relaxed and enjoyed being together. It will be fun to have the kids home from school tomorrow as we observe President's Day! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;"> And for your viewing pleasure...... </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">Favorite Inappropriate Quotes of the Week, courtesy of my darlings.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">Mom, no offense, but you look like crap!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">---Walker</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">Mom, I love you even though you have Cancer.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">---Wes</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">Dad! I think I am having a Hot Flash! (As he threw his hoodie across the room!)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">---Wes</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">Primary Chorister..."Tell me something that you feel blessed to hear?"</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">"Farts...I like the sound of farts, but not the smell of them"</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">---Wyatt</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">(We need to work on some decorum!)</span></span></div>
J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-28690562520734247612013-02-12T20:34:00.002-07:002013-02-12T20:55:57.447-07:0010th dose of Chemo<span style="font-family: inherit;">JaNae had her 10th treatment yesterday. She came home from the cancer center feeling quite drugged up and sleepy. She slept pretty well last night which was a change because she has been really having a hard time staying asleep. Personally, I think it's the steroids causing her to have long nights... JaNae has never had a hard time sleeping before this. In fact, she has fallen asleep in movies at the theater before and usually falls asleep whenever we watch a video. For the past few weeks however, she wakes up around 2am and reads a book or stalks facebook/blogs until about 4am. Then she is groggy all day. Don't worry, I'm keeping an eye on her. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">She is doing well over all. Her white blood cell count is still quite low. When she goes in tomorrow to get her pump disconnected, she is going to get an injection of <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.1875px;">Neulasta which is a long acting granulocyte stimulating factor to increase her white blood cell count so her immune system can work properly. I have heard that this injection costs several thousand dollars for one injection. They told us the main side effect is bone pain because it works in the bone marrow. Hopefully it's not too bad. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Today, has been an anomaly, she has not felt terribly ill. She has been up and actually went shopping which she has never done the day after chemo... it makes me wonder if she actually got the chemo. We are not </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">complaining about the way she feels, in fact we are really hoping she feels this well tomorrow and the rest of the week. It's just so strange how unpredictable things are. In fact tonight I think I feel more tired than she does... I think I'll go to bed. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">-Jeff</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpX1KVPnhwZmEgwMmq-QHUYCPT5CaDrjWYLe2hlEPvd30PF7V-gSaJAXTz934x5uyA1I88VM3gsAT-4gWlwEMJshMHsO3Z_qcGUxcJDrTW4rwcledp1EYB5EM3vJohzcEV97iuecKGANm1/s1600/yoda.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpX1KVPnhwZmEgwMmq-QHUYCPT5CaDrjWYLe2hlEPvd30PF7V-gSaJAXTz934x5uyA1I88VM3gsAT-4gWlwEMJshMHsO3Z_qcGUxcJDrTW4rwcledp1EYB5EM3vJohzcEV97iuecKGANm1/s400/yoda.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I could not resist this picture... </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-76352130037884676952013-01-30T23:32:00.001-07:002013-01-31T09:52:46.467-07:00During chemo...I have been wondering whether to post these photo's of what it is really like for her to get chemo... We have all of these posts of us being strong and looking happy but really that's only part of the roller coaster ride. <br />
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When I came home tonight and saw JaNae on the couch looking green with her "chemo look." I decided to post them. I needed to share. The photos are candid. I took them while acting like I was looking something up on my phone. I did ask her if i could post them and she agreed (though a little loopy at the time.) I just hope that as you share our journey with us that you know how thankful we are for all of the love and support. We do see the light at the end of the tunnel. <br />
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As I type this, she is here in bed next to me breathing so softly... I can tell by her breathing that she is asleep but it is a light sleep and she is restless. The chemo makes her cold so she is wearing a jacket in bed and has an electric heater pointed at her. In a day or two she'll be having hot flashes and throwing off the covers. It really is a roller coaster ride. I don't know how else to describe it. <br />
-Jeff<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid10MDWwHfEiohdBg-Mh_LmE4obaCnwhPDOBvSyV-pgrJac2MKkyPP-7hdRiclw5ryz9eoeOJdgrdWr6_019ulC959yb1U7qq-PkLKXVYvmBGBTPfmbh5zsQrF7xcOY9V-yhQivi9ujBAs/s1600/Tears.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid10MDWwHfEiohdBg-Mh_LmE4obaCnwhPDOBvSyV-pgrJac2MKkyPP-7hdRiclw5ryz9eoeOJdgrdWr6_019ulC959yb1U7qq-PkLKXVYvmBGBTPfmbh5zsQrF7xcOY9V-yhQivi9ujBAs/s400/Tears.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The nurse had just pushed some of the medicine that gives her a bad taste and smell that makes her feel so sick.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a close up... and yes those are tears. It breaks my heart to see her suffer .</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is the miserable chemo face she gets.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnxOaMfvexWa2JvXIZq2wN56A60VQjtA-gOjCADlY7vxm9ojyNYkxXSGv1H6NYPuqps35dGL0z30MS0-FA_1MhAuzZiH1xEwfVXqdquia90X2brrr2haLEoHw65kULbuAAuazsALC-w85D/s1600/20130128_135736.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnxOaMfvexWa2JvXIZq2wN56A60VQjtA-gOjCADlY7vxm9ojyNYkxXSGv1H6NYPuqps35dGL0z30MS0-FA_1MhAuzZiH1xEwfVXqdquia90X2brrr2haLEoHw65kULbuAAuazsALC-w85D/s400/20130128_135736.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Once the medication hits, she gets very sleepy and takes a little nap. <br />
There was a robin that was outside the window that kept hopping down and looking in at us. </td></tr>
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PS. Just to update on her health, her white blood cell count was low and her ANC (Absolute Neutrophil Count) was 1.44. Which means she is at increased risk of getting any type if infection so she has to be careful. The doctors will consider giving her a dose of a GSF to increase her blood cell count if it continues to be low.<br />
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<br />J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-3850668148722332252013-01-28T16:55:00.001-07:002013-01-28T17:03:41.391-07:00Number 9<br />
Here we are partaking of round #9! The light at the end of the tunnel (or should I say empty toilet paper roll) is increasingly becoming closer and more focused. I am truly so ready to be done. The endurance part of this journey is wearing me out and taking it's tole. But I am invested.....and wanting to finish strong. I am feeling a little drugged and loopy, so in other words....readers beware. When I read this tomorrow , I am sure it will be like I am reading it for the first time. What a pleasant surprise.....I could get used to this granny amnesia. I think it follows this granny cancer disease quite nicely. <br />
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As you can tell my view from the comfort of my chemotherapy suite bed.....is amazing. Hubby doing work as he sits with me....supporting and keeping me company. I love him! And am so thankful for his constant support and love. I would have not survived these last 9 months without his help. (And neither would my new found friend...the psychiatrist ) With out his help, she would have had more work than is humanly possible!) HaHa He is a compassionate and wonderful Husband and Father....I am lucky. My angel mother is coming later this week to help out. Don't know what I would do with out her help as well. <br />
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Description of above said photo: <br />
1: Warm blankets<br />
2: Another adorable baby quilt being bound for someone special..<br />
3: IPad close so I can keep up with my email box and police Jeff on what he posts onFfacebook.... And speaking of Facebook and stalking...I have had a lot of friends go on exotic, warm vacations this month. (Dirty Jerks!) ....needless to say, I am living it up through their great photos! Keep them coming! :)<br />
4: Handy Chemo bag with everything from gum, lotion, cinnamon lip gloss, extra feel good drugs, a good book hand, sanitize, scissors, thread and another quilt, just in case I am fast with my work. <br />
5: Jeff: Mr Worker mouse, trying to juggle everything on his plate as well as my appointments and insanity. <br />
6: Chic-fil-A breakfast sandwich and cold drink. Anyone curious at why I have not lost weight on Chemotherapy? There is the evidence! I slurped that cold caffeinated soda it like it was going to be taken from the face of the earth. As soon as the Oxalyplatin is running through my veins, my cold drinks are toast!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jeff snagged this photo...i was OUT.....and quite a few more times throughout today! <br />
God Bless America and Good Sleepy Drugs! </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My nutritional nightmare, white trash comfort food lunch. Milk (1% because I think that I am fat.....I really could have whole if I wanted--Napoleon Dynamite!) Cream of wheat, cold English muffins, a little honey, and for old times sake LUCKY CHARMS (Did I ever tell you that I lived of those things during radiation?)....because we need all the luck we can get! Oh and some room temperature Diet Pepsi's and and Andes Mint just because the lunch ladies are nice! </td></tr>
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Treatment today took about 8 hours....we did not leave the hospital until around 3. We love the nurses, and they are so attentive, loving and good. But today seemed to drag and we did a lot of waiting. <br />
Jeff and I conversed with one of my favorite nurses and another patient about our journeys and how fast life flies by. This patient just had his last child get married, and now he and his wife are empty-nesters. He mentioned quite a few times that he wished he and his wife would have more children to fill their home. Our conversation tugged and my heart. I am so thankful for who we are able to share our lives with. Friends, loved ones and especially our sweet children that make our house a home. It was a hard conversation to listen to. I don't want the good days of life to zoom by...(maybe just the hard ones!) And I cant have my 4 grow and leave to quickly. We'll just keep taking and enjoying one day at a time!<br />
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Love and Blessings to you all this week! :) ---JaNaeJ.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-33013926255614764012013-01-27T22:18:00.000-07:002013-01-27T22:18:49.491-07:00Still going strong...We haven't posted for a while mostly because things have been uneventful. JaNae is still going strong and amazes me. She does feel like garbage quite a bit but carries on with life and doing the things that need to be done. Last night she did not sleep well so she was up at 4am quilting and baking muffins for breakfast. I've been sneakily trying to psychoanalyze her and figure her out. I'm not very stealthy at it though because she always knows what I am doing. I swear she can read my thoughts. I know there is quite a bit of anticipatory anxiety before chemo and I feel it myself as I watch her suffer... in fact I sometimes think the mental turmoil that goes along with the diagnosis and treatment of cancer is every bit as bad as the physical battle. I hope I'm giving her the support and strength she needs. <br />
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People ask us all the time what they can do to help and I honestly am not sure what to say... our needs are met and we are living our lives and making it one day at a time. We appreciate everyone that has brought in meals, offered prayers, dropped gifts on our doorstep, or dropped by to check on us. We are so thankful to have so many friends and people who care so much... Thank to all who have been blessings in the lives of the Johnsons.<br />
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---Jeff<br />
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(PS. JaNae, I can't believe you snuck a post in right before this one! You must have read my thoughts... again!)<br />
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<br />J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-2506926233144104462013-01-27T21:12:00.000-07:002013-01-27T22:20:09.769-07:00JaNae here...<br />
If this blog had sound effects....we would all be hearing crickets. I regret being such a slacker...This blog is reminding me of swiss cheese with lots of holes! Here's to filling a few of them in. <br />
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I cannot believe how fast January has flown by. We have had good and bad days, although hopefully the good ones are tipping the scale. I have had a few days where I have felt good enough to do some spring cleaning and organizing. (To the horror of my children.) It feels so good to have energy to do normal things, and feel like I have control over the household. #7 and #8 chemo infusions are under my belt (or fanny pack if you prefer) and am gearing up for #9 bright and early in the morning. I am not excited, but as I type Downton Abby is numbing the drudgery! The last few days I have been able to taste the chemo and feel sick, on demand. Bleh. I wish I had super powers to smash that anticipatory nausea out of my brain. The nausea I feel on treatment week is plenty!<br />
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I am curious to know if my hair will thin again like it did after my 3rd infusion. My hair is thick and I have been very pleased that it is still hanging around. I have noticed a little regrowth around my hair line. It is an inch long and sticks up! And my deformed fingernails have grown out....I just trimmed off the last bumpy, thin and brittle fingernails that were effected by the chemo. We'll see what the next few rounds bring. <br />
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This past week, I had an appointment with my surgeon for a check-up....and when I say check up....that is exactly what I mean. (Shudder.) I didn't sleep the night before, and at the visit my BP was just about heart attack high. But the visit and exam when quickly and well.....then I skipped out his office with normal blood pressure and a 50 pound weight off my back. I don't have to go see him for months. (Insert hallelujah choir here)<br />
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I also had the "pleasure" of seeing my psychiatrist. I am choking down a big black crow, as I feel that the time I spend with her are positive and helpful, even though my attitude toward her has not always been amazing. She is uplifting and writes me prescriptions for good drugs.....a win-win in my playbook!<br />
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And when it comes to drugs....this lady is going to ingest her share momentarily. I am really exhausted, but have a hard time turning my brain off in order to get to sleep and stay there. I bet you can imagine my game plan! :)<br />
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<br />J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-73988021593298276232012-12-31T21:30:00.000-07:002013-01-07T19:25:25.890-07:00Happy New Year!<div style="text-align: center;">
Our fond farewell wishes to the year 2012....a year where we learned and grew more than we ever imagined...(whether we wanted to or not! ) </div>
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9:00pm has come and gone at our house.....the ultimate boring time that has been pegged as the turn of the year, so this little family can celebrate, enjoy each others company, and go to sleep at a decent time to insure optimal moods and outlooks on life. Surprisingly we had a delightful meal on a beautiful table set by Whitney and the little boys. Whit is the ultimate party planner. We drank our selves silly with sparkling cider, played a few games, and let off some fireworks to frustrate the neighbors. We know how to party around here! Luckily our children are still relatively small and easily entertained. We plan on keeping it that way!<br />
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Earlier in the day......we accomplished the first day of Chemo after not so RAD,
Radiation! Jeff seemed to hold most of the anxiety going into the
treatment center this morning. I slept well and felt chipper and
surprisingly happy. I love the nurses at the center...and was excited
to see and visit with them in the Chemo Suite. I found myself trying to
remember all of the tricks that I used, to make me more comfortable
when all of the Chemotherapy side effects rear their ugly head. I am
confident that they will return to my mind. <br />
<br />
As we got ready to be by the Cancer Center by 8am, we rolled out of bed into a very cold bedroom and realized that our furnace had crapped out during the night. We left with our children drinking Hot Chocolate and sitting by the fire. Thanks to some great friends and neighbors, and the warranty on our home we had someone over to check it out in and replace a sensor in no time. Jeff had to leave me during my infusion to take care of the furnace guy, and came home to happy kids who had again been spoiled by my aunt and uncle, who dropped off a treat. A good friend came to the hospital to sit with me and then drove me home.......Thanks Adrian! </div>
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And as for my side effects.....I feel a little green and am drugged from the anti-nausea meds. I have been reunited with my fannypack that is stuffed full of the 5FU cancer fighting magic, and the accessed port that squeeks when I move or breath . They totally, totally bug. I am also bothered by the smell of Chemo that permeates my body. (I really hope I am the only one that can smell it.) The Neuropathy tonight is however minimal. My hands and feet are sensitive to the cold....but the pain (to cold) that I usually feel in my throat is present on my tongue. Weird. I am enjoying some hot flashes that are making me feel old and menopause-ish...but they wax and wane and then disappear. Definitely tolerable on the Cancer Sucks Scale! I am happy that today is over and that infusion #7 has been smashed! I am feeling tired and sore tonight and want to get some good rest in.</div>
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I loved this quote from a friend on facebook! I loved it! Enjoy! </div>
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Happy, Happy New Year!!!</div>
J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-41375428670024182912012-12-29T23:43:00.000-07:002012-12-30T18:51:21.484-07:00Getting ready for more...Christmas has come and gone. It was great to have some time off and hang out together as a family. It seems to take so much work and preparation and then be over too quickly. JaNae was feeling better overall but still tired and achy. She was originally scheduled to re-start chemo the week before Christmas but she changed her mind and rescheduled for New Years Eve... what a way to ring in the new year. It's been hard to watch her anxiety grow as the chemo start date grows near. She is not going into it naively this time. I know the next few months will not be fun or easy but the end of chemo is in sight. We need to plan a celebration.<br />
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I turned 40 and DID NOT freak out about it. (Which is good for me.) <br />
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This weekend, her brother from Seattle is visiting her parents so she took the kids and went down to her parents' house while I was working. After a long day in clinic, I drove over to meet them. I was very tired and got a late start so after I loaded up my stuff and the ski gear for the kids, I got a huge brew (mostly Diet Mt Dew) and set off. It was cold last night and the moon was full and bright. As I drove, I had to keep active to make sure I stayed awake. I once fell asleep driving and have vowed to never do it again. I played my ipod through my truck's stereo and blasted old songs from the past. I loaded a bunch of songs on there a few years ago and don't play them often so I had forgotten how much variety there was. I sang loudly and rocked along with songs from the 80's and 90's mixed in with a few newer songs. I think it was therapeutic for me to have a few hours of loud music that I love. It was the perfect soundtrack for my moods of the past 6 months... up, down, and sideways! I thought about a lot of stuff and noticed some things along the way... let me share some of them.<br />
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When alone and belting out music... I have a good voice that can sound exactly like Bono, Garth Brooks, The guy from The Cure, All of the Depeche Mode voices, Billy Joel, Billy Idol, Duran Duran, Cold Play and even some female artists. (I know JaNae will be rolling her eyes when she reads this.)<br />
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The full moon looks much more clear on a cold night.<br />
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When the dash board thermometer reads 15 degrees and you are going 75mph, it takes 22 seconds for your hand to go numb if you stick it out the window.<br />
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I searched the sky for UFO's and didn't see any... I still secretly hope to see one, though I'm not sure being abducted would so great.<br />
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At 75 mph, it takes 48 seconds to go one mile but at 80 mph, it only takes 45 seconds.<br />
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Airliners leaving contrails that cross the face of the moon look really cool... I saw several of them right across the moon.<br />
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I think the cop I saw in the median was taking a nap while on duty.<br />
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2012 went by really fast... I'm having mixed feelings about seeing it end.<br />
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-Jeff<br />
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<br />J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-6930555176304475572012-12-24T19:34:00.000-07:002013-01-07T19:35:39.978-07:00<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>Merry Christmas From Our House To Yours! </u></span></span></h2>
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J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-11112763460641147282012-12-20T00:39:00.001-07:002012-12-20T00:50:41.304-07:00Today's laughWe died laughing at this picture from the upcoming movie "This is 40."<br />
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The similarities are uncanny.<br />
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Jeff turns 40 in one week. Poor Man.<br />
We like clean teeth...of course.<br />
Reverse the roles and bingo....you have Jeff and me. Unfortunately. <br />
Holy I-Pad.<br />
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Too bad the movie is rated R so we don't have the "pleasure" of filling our brains with inappropriate-ness and crude humor. ( I watched the trailer and burned my retinas and tainted my brain!) We totally would have shelled out money to see it in the theater for another good laugh. Our wallets will thank us!<br />
J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-80905279436336459372012-12-19T00:05:00.001-07:002012-12-19T00:05:32.377-07:00Postpone---ment<div style="text-align: center;">
Yesterday we met with my Oncologist. I was pleased to meet with her and even more pleased to leave..... without getting a Chemo infusion. We were in and out quickly after the lab tests (which came back improved) and then Jeff and I spent some time together finishing up our Christmas Shopping. I am so thankful for him and especially his flexible schedule that allows him to be with me. My home away from home....aka Mountain States Tumor Institute.... is so much better with support. </div>
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Skipping out on Chemo is really boosting my Christmas Spirit. And how nice it is to enjoy this season without a chemotherapy induced stupor. We have been busy with finishing up with the last week of school with the kids, running holiday errands and sewing and baking/ candy making projects. It feels so good to feel decent even though I still tire quickly. The children are excited for their holiday break, and we are looking forward to spending time together with no school responsibilities and/or homework. </div>
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We have hugged them extra tight this week in wake of the recent tragedy in Connecticut. I am so thankful that they are safe and here in our home. I am especially enjoying our sweet Kindergartener and the extra time I have with just him during the day. He is so loving and kind to me. He is so good to help me in the afternoon by being easily entertained and often letting me rest. As I was listening to him play after lunch today, he was pretending that one of his favorite toys (lego dragon) was sick. According to Wes, his dragon was stricken with cancer and needed to be transported to the hospital for chemotherapy. I was surprised to hear however that his dragon's treatments were unsuccessful and he bit the dust. Pitiful that my 6year old includes cancer with his imaginative play. We need to get out a little more! </div>
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And I am not sure if tonight's activity of "Tap Out" wrestling lessons from the full grown 5th child counts....</div>
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Pray for me! :)</div>
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J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-10526717152624083342012-12-09T23:09:00.000-07:002012-12-11T08:23:52.315-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">
Go ahead and pass out....here I am posting. The last month or so has been rough. I either felt like crap, or was sleeping. Radiation was a lot harder than I expected on my body, but in hindsight I am glad that I was oblivious. Ignorance is my best friend lately. :) <br />
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Today the baby of our family turned 6. We celebrated just about the whole week and enjoyed our Sabbath Day with him today. The anticipation that he expressed was so fun to watch. I don't know what we are going to do this next week without his enthusiasm. Maybe we can just be excited about new things that he does now that he is 6!<br />
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Jeff and I took him out earlier this week to lunch and then drove around to different toy stores and let him pick out his own bike. We also splurged and took the kids to Wreck it Ralph Saturday afternoon. (We loved it....and then giggled as we sopped up tears that ran down our cheeks as the movie ended!) If you haven't seen it....we would recommend it! </div>
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We are slowly but surely getting ready for Christmas and loving the special spirit of Christ in our home. This time of year is always a favorite....but this year is a little different. I have really tried to simplify this season as I am still taking it easy and trying to regain energy and strength as my body heals. It has been frustrating as I am slowly feeling better to not pick up physically where I remember leaving off pre-surgery, chemo and radiation. I am thinking I have some major muscular atrophy...aka fat, lazy, no muscle tone in those Relief Society arms. I stirred something on the stove for a few minutes this week and woke up feeling that I had lifted some serious weights at the gym. Bleh..... But the simplicity that I am trying to uphold with the hustle and bustle of December feels good. The kids are enjoying our daily candy kiss countdowns, our special Elf on the Shelf, "Sneaker" as well as a Star Wars Lego advent calender that we purchased last year on clearance. Our favorite tradition by far has been unwrapping a Christmas book each evening and then reading it together as a family. Last night I read <a href="http://deseretbook.com/Christmas-Dress-Ellen-Thomas-S-Monson/i/4915183" target="_blank">A Christmas Dress for Ellen. </a>I had a hard time making it through. Whitney offered to finish reading it for me at least 3 times. It is a beautiful story. A story that I hope my kids can appreciate and remember. This year has been so hard....but I love the perspective of how blessed that we truly are. In comparison to many that have lived before us.....the challenges and trials that we are experiencing seem like a cake walk are things that know I can handle and grow strength from. Jeff has a great job that provides us with the means to feed our children and warm our home. We are comfortable and blessed and surrounded by so so many great friends and loved ones. </div>
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I am happy and relieved to be in this part of my treatment. Radiation kicked my trash and I am so thankful to be finished. The effects were cumulative and it was hard to continue to feel worse as the weeks went. Not only did driving to the Cancer Center every day for 5 weeks take its toll on my schedule and gas guzzling vehicle, I don't think I have ever been that tired and exhausted. My hands and feet increasingly became more +dry, cracked and sore because of the oral chemotherapy that I was taking. As the weeks progressed I had a lot of pain that reminded me of how I felt after my resection surgery. I spent the majority of my morning noon and night in "my office"! I really needed to look into a one-way picture window or amazing bookshelf with a plethora of reading material to help me pass the time. I don't think I could ever admit the number of Sudoku games that I have played and won. The sheer number is honestly embarrassing! And I must admit that it is getting quite old. But here is a little word to the wise.....My Ipad is a bathroom fixture..<br />
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On the 29th of November we met with my Oncologist, Dr. Bucur. It was a hard day, not only because of the idea of starting stupid chemo again....but emotional for me and the unfortunate self pity that I held for a few selfish moments. As we drove to the Doctor...I received a text announcing the birth of my adorable sister's sweet, sweet boy. I also knew that my other sister who is expecting would be finding out later in the day the gender of her baby that is due in April.......And I was going to Mountain States Tumor Institute to chat about my insides that have been microwaved and unable to have any more children. I am truly happy for my sisters and their little families and have since ceased feeling like my life is not fair. I have 4 amazing children that make our home complete and crazy, and I am lucky to still be here to care for them and watch them grow. I just wish that time would give me a break and slow down just a little. (Especially with all of the time that I lose in my office!) </div>
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As I talked to Dr. Bucur I was expecting to have her schedule my next chemo infusion appointment for the following week. They did lab tests and my liver is still inflamed and wanted to wait a few weeks, retake the labs and them tentatively schedule my chemotherapy. I was given the option of starting infusions after Christmas but thought I wanted to be the Chemotherapy patient of the year and get the first one crossed off my list the week of the 17th. Since then, I have gone back for the lab retest. My billirubin, which they were concerned about, is still elevated but is coming down. We scheduled Chemo for December 17th. I also saw the Psychiatrist....lots of emphasis on the psycho......which was comfortable and good for a change. I went alone...aka...without Jeff (who last appointment was a total tattle-tale.) HaHaHa! The Dr. encouraged me to think about waiting on the Chemotherapy until January. And the more I have pondered that idea, the more I have embraced it! I have been thankful for these last weeks. It has been refreshing to feel better for a season and to be able to do normal day to day mom things that I enjoy and take pride in being able to accomplish. We are planning on taking the #7 Oxalyplatin/ 5FU plunge just around New Years. It is great to have the end in sight and to think about being finished with feeling like garbage in March, if everything goes as planned. Halleluiah and Amen! Till next time! :)<br />
- JaNae<br />
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And until next time....here are some photo gems of the ones I love!<br />
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And Holly, we are loving the window crayons!!! <br />
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J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-34839635721235031542012-11-27T23:56:00.000-07:002012-11-30T23:56:55.428-07:00Thanksgiving and Crazy Life<br />
Thanksgiving has come and gone... can you believe it? The end of the year (and possibly end of the world) is fast approaching and life has been crazy.<br />
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Over the weekend I looked at my email and there were 420 unread messages... I have kind of given up trying to keep on top of them. If you are waiting for a response from us, we will eventually get through them. I spent some time yesterday deleting the junk and got the number down to around 200. <br />
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The last few weeks of radiation were worse than we expected. JaNae had more pain than we thought she would and it was hard to watch her suffer. We went to her parents house for Thanksgiving and she was miserable on the car ride there... but by the time we came home, she was much better. Her body has been healing quickly and we are thankful for that. We are not looking forward to 3 more months of chemotherapy... JaNae gets sick just thinking about it. It's strange how at times she gets a chemo taste in her mouth from time to time. I can always tell by the grimace on her face and the way she moves her tongue.<br />
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During these hard times, we do try to be positive and count our blessings. JaNae still gets angry at times and questions why she has to go through this. Even though it's late, I wanted to mention some thanksgiving thoughts. As I am writing this it's almost midnight and there are two owls hooting in my back yard... I love it. <br />
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We do have a lot to be thankful for...<br />
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Faith and our hope in the gospel.<br />
Family<br />
Good health insurance<br />
Doctors and nurses who provide good care for us.<br />
Support from wonderful friends. (People we didn't even know a year ago that have become huge blessings in our lives. We are so thankful for the meals, the gifts, and all of the prayers offered in our behalf.)<br />
Shooting clay pigeons with my brother in law... it was good stress relief.<br />
Netflix (So JaNae and I can watch our favorite episodes of The Office.)<br />
A roof over our heads<br />
An electric blanket for JaNae when she feels cold.<br />
Many more things...<br />
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Good night.<br />
-Jeff<br />
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<br />J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-48280044291107206892012-11-11T09:56:00.000-07:002012-11-11T09:56:35.999-07:00One week of radiation to go.I went out of town to Seattle for work and had to leave JaNae during her 4th week of radiation. We are so blessed that her mom lives close enough to come to stay and help. I'm not sure if JaNae or the kids would have survived without her. I'm so glad to be back home. <br />
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JaNae is feeling the cumulative effect of the radiation. She is very tired and is having quite a bit of pain in the radiated areas. It certainly makes a husband feel helpless to watch his wife go through this. On the bright side, there is only one more week of radiation and then she'll have a few weeks to heal before starting the infusions of chemotherapy again. She has been taking oral chemotherapy during the radiation but it hasn't been nearly as bad as the infusions they put in her port. <br />
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One week to go... wait, is that a light at the end of the tunnel?<br />
-Jeff<br />
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<br />J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-10653570868113887122012-10-30T17:40:00.000-06:002012-10-30T17:40:47.035-06:00What a beautiful sky...Yesterday I went with her to her treatment and tried to get some photos of her... (JaNae does not like her picture to be taken.) I did get one of her on the table before I noticed that she was giving me the international greeting from Top Gun. I was then threatened with bodily harm if I took any more so I just took a photo of the ceiling. It has little lights simulating stars on a painted sky so patients can look up and imagine they are lying in the cool grass on a summer evening watching the stars. Though I'm sure it is hard to relax lying on a cold table with your pants pulled halfway down amid the buzzing of machines. JaNae sarcastically (imagine that) describes it as, "just like heaven."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjNjX5gYJwetSuM1KYDQ1hRMnFhMz0SXjuPZJgEpdmPORPOAtt87IdGQ41MTJzbW3WCzN4s9e09cR5t6jyPE6A2KeQshgf6ZAp7-IBebNYCqguZcqddCLHNbtugOwLW9Yt5PxcFInWJQmC/s1600/20121029_105255.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjNjX5gYJwetSuM1KYDQ1hRMnFhMz0SXjuPZJgEpdmPORPOAtt87IdGQ41MTJzbW3WCzN4s9e09cR5t6jyPE6A2KeQshgf6ZAp7-IBebNYCqguZcqddCLHNbtugOwLW9Yt5PxcFInWJQmC/s400/20121029_105255.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So relaxing... to look at fake stars.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The only photo I could get! This was taken 2 seconds before she gave me a real crusty! </td></tr>
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As you all are aware, Halloween is right around the corner. We went
to a party last night that was put on by a very generous family in our
ward. It's the best party of the year and features sky diving super
heroes and a plane flying over dumping out candy on the crowd. Our kids
loved getting their faces painted and the hay rides. There was a scary
ride for the older kids and they were startled by the maniac with a
chainsaw. Wyatt ended up sleeping downstairs on the couch though he
says it was because he couldn't sleep... not because he was scared.<br />
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-Jeff<br />
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J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-57567861383852701462012-10-22T23:23:00.000-06:002012-10-22T23:23:21.564-06:00Week #2As I sit here tonight, digesting the 10 pills that I pulled out of my granny pill boxes, I am excited to be on Radiation Week #2. The first week was good to get behind me...(no pun intended)....I was able to get rid of the smokers cough that plagued me and blow the radiation/chemo thing out of the water. At least with my hind sight (again, no pun intended) it was good. I did have a roller coaster of emotions hit me. I hope it is acceptable to go from sad, angry, totally peeved, to clam, accepting and them peaceful and happy all within 5 minutes. I think that it is all part of this whole process, but it is rather exhausting and a amusement park ride that I wanted to exit months ago as I embraced this diagnosis and journey. But I survived and felt halfway decent and am hoping that this week will treat me the same. And by surviving, I include not attacking a young whipper snapper that stole my parking spot on the way into the cancer center, and not poking the eyes of a cute little granny that has her radiation appointment just before mine. She has asked me a few times if I work in the radiation dept...I have been polite, but I have wanted to scream that I am here for the same crap that she is. On Friday the radiation machine was down and I was surprised to see the entire waiting room plum full when I arrived. Thankfully, I only had to wait 40 minutes to receive my zapping and was pleased that I did not have to reschedule... I am hopeful that I will not have to postpone or prolong any more of this "blessed" treatment! <br />
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Today, things at home and treatment went well. Our oldest stayed home from school as he was ill with the stomach flu. (We are praying that he is the only one that is affected.) By afternoon he was feeling a little better and was helpful with our youngest, especially when I partook of my daily nap that keeps me afloat. I do keep chuckling about a conversation that came up this morning. As I ran to my "office" for the 5th time in one hour, I yelled, "I need a rectum!" The kids had a good laugh and our oldest in his infinite wisdom asked if I could ever get a rectum transplant. I corrected him on the proper terminology, that would be rectal, rather than rectum.....(cause I am smart like that)....and then was completely disgusted about the thought of a transplant. And then our conversation unfortunately turned to the thought of an animal donor....as in a monkey or a pig. And I wholeheartedly and partial colon-ly exclaimed that the last thing that I needed was a pig or monkey butt. His response was..."Oh Mom, I am sure they would hose it off before they put it in!" We are seriously still laughing! <br />
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And on a more serious note.... <br />
Tonight Jeff and I sat down with our children for our little Family Home Evening...aka organized chaos. We pulled the Cancer Card that is becoming well used and watched a few Mormon Messages. When it comes to the history of Johnson FHE's, besides times when the kids actually fell asleep or were sick and drugged, tonight's behavior was commendable. Our favorites of course were <a href="http://www.lds.org/pages/mormon-messages#lessons-i-learned-as-a-boy" target="_blank">Things I Learned as a Boy</a> and <a href="http://www.lds.org/friend/online-activities/videos/other?lang=eng#the-coat" target="_blank">The Coat.</a> As we watched these together as a family, tears streamed down our cheeks as we felt the spirit of charity and thought of how we have been blessed by all those that surround and lift us up. I am so thankful that I don't have to endure this journey alone....and hope that through the service that has been rendered in our families behalf, that all of you have been blessed as well. It has been humbling to be on the charity side of things, but we are so incredibly grateful. Our love to you all!J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1946665230842229139.post-30791957453271760012012-10-16T17:14:00.000-06:002012-10-16T19:16:55.083-06:00Getting a good zappin!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8n8R8BlzUV7OM1rU4ClJDXFHggR3nZDEhlmSyGgiiCbykpJJ0cV48_S6bC1w9zLQa-4q7RhHRrwdL2pVKh_5-v6PS8f5FZWT1vHh5_5uXDFAJ28TLXVhY7pS1j5J3TCRuFwsrmAiRkJVh/s1600/20121016_112310.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8n8R8BlzUV7OM1rU4ClJDXFHggR3nZDEhlmSyGgiiCbykpJJ0cV48_S6bC1w9zLQa-4q7RhHRrwdL2pVKh_5-v6PS8f5FZWT1vHh5_5uXDFAJ28TLXVhY7pS1j5J3TCRuFwsrmAiRkJVh/s400/20121016_112310.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The sign on the treatment room. </td></tr>
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Well, this is Jeff. JaNae has been kind of a slacker so I guess it is up to me to fill everyone in. I don't blame her for slacking though, she has been super tired and not feeling all that groovy. We thought the 3 weeks she had between chemo and radiation would be a time where she felt wonderful and we could have some fun but it hasn't panned out that way. She caught a cold that went to her chest and has had a terrible cough which has kept her feeling yucky. Luckily she didn't get pneumonia despite her suppressed immune system.<br />
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Then last Monday, she had an appointment with her butt doctor (I mean colorectal surgeon) and he did an exam and found a nodule at the anastomosis (where the colon is reconnected). It was biopsied and we spent 3 sleepless nights worrying about whether the cancer had returned. It ended up just being some inflammatory tissue with no cancer, so we were very relieved... but nobody can describe with words the stress that something like this brings.<br />
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Yesterday, she had her first radiation treatment and it seemed to go well. She also started the Xeloda which is the new chemotherapy pill she is taking while doing the radiation. I was teaching a lecture and could not go to the treatment so she went alone. I had begged her to take a friend with her but she refused. (Yes it is true... sometimes my wife will not listen to me.) Anyway, she told me she ended up seeing an oncologist who is a partner of her doctor because her doctor was out of town. She told me that she became emotional talking with the doctor and I was kicking myself for not MAKING her take someone with her. Today she had treatment #2 of 25 and I did go with her. The technicians lined up green lasers with her tattoos and I went out while JaNae was locked in a big vault and zapped. JaNae got to listen to elevator music and look up at fake stars on the ceiling during the treatment. I took a few photos but not as many as I would have liked. I will try to take more to post so you can all see what the treatment room is like.<br />
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Anyway, after the treatment, we were grabbed by the social worker who spent some time talking with us and was concerned about how JaNae is doing. (I think the doctor set the social worker on us like an attack dog.) I know JaNae hates that sort of thing but I enjoyed meeting with her and talking about a few things. I know the stress of this whole situation has affected our kids and we spent a lot of time talking about taking care of their emotional needs. It was insightful.<br />
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I hope everyone is well and happy. We appreciate the love and support you have all shown us. We could not make it through this alone. <br />
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-Jeff<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm just trying to show how thick the door is.</td></tr>
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J.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01614537521847133039noreply@blogger.com4